Monday, April 6, 2015

How do I really know if it's Real Love?

LATELY one of my dear friend ask me about the topic, I didn't directly give her an answer all I said is that I'm going to research for it. So now here we go, hope you enjoy it.

         How do you define love?
·         How do you define infatuation? 
·         In your own opinion what are the difference between the two?

You likely had little or no trouble answering the questions above. After all, it’s easy to see the difference between love and infatuation when you’re just thinking hypothetically.

All of that can change, though, the moment you set your eyes on the boy or girl of your dreams. Suddenly you’re smitten, and nothing else matters. You’re hopelessly in love. Or are you? Is it love — or is it infatuation? How can you tell? To answer, first let’s consider how your view of the opposite sex has probably changed in recent years.

For example, consider the following questions:

·         What did you think of the opposite sex when you were five years old?

·         What do you think of the opposite sex now?

Your answers likely reveal that when you hit puberty, you gained a new appreciation for the opposite sex. Now that you’re noticing the opposite sex, how can you cope with these powerful feelings? Instead of pretending that they don’t exist - a surefire way to intensify them — you can use this as a wonderful opportunity to learn something about attraction, infatuation, and love. Understanding these three facets of romance can spare you needless heartache and help you, in time, to find real love.

Attraction:  What you see.

It's normal to be attracted to someone who is outwardly beautiful or handsome. The problem is, what you see isn' t always what you get. Why? Because looks can be deceiving.

Did u know?

Young people who frivolously enter and exit romantic relationships are, in a sense, "practicing" for divorce after marriage.

Infatuation - What you feel.

During my high school days I had a major crush on a girl when I was 17, and when I got over it, I realized why I liked her. It was only because all my friends were interested in girls - and she was a girl. So there you go.

For me, "every girl was a potential crush.”

I've had many crushes, but most of the time, I was only considering the outer person. Once I found out what the person was like on the inside, I realized that we weren't as compatible as I had thought.

Infatuation feels like love. 

In fact, love includes romantic feelings. But the basis for each is entirely different. Infatuation stems from a superficial reaction to surface qualities. Also, it is blind to the other person’s weaknesses and exaggerates his or her strengths.

As a result, infatuation is about as stable as a castle made of sand- in a short time, it washes away. “It doesn't last long,” it's just temporary. “You can be attracted to someone one day,  and then a month later you feel the same way—but toward someone else!”  

LOVE: What you know

“I believe that with love, you have a reason to be attracted to someone,  and it’s a good reason— not a selfish one.”

To me, it seems that real love should grow overtime. At first,  you’re good friends. Then, little by little, you like what you have come to know about the person, and you start to develop feelings that you've never had before.

Love is based on a well-rounded knowledge of a person’s strengths and weaknesses. It’s not surprising, then, that the Holy Scriptures describes love as much more than a feeling. It states that love is, among other things, “long-suffering and  kind.... It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails.”  (1 Corinthians 13:4,7,8) And love makes a person act in these ways based on knowledge—not on credulity or ignorance.

An Example of Real Love

One of my greatest favorite love story, the bible account of Jacob and Rachel vividly illustrates real love. The couple met at a well, where Rachel had gone to water her father’s sheep. Jacob was immediately attracted to her. Why? For one thing, she was“ shapely and beautiful.” —Genesis29:17,Today’s English Version.

Remember, though, that real love is based on more than physical appearance. Jacob found that there was more to Rachel than her beauty. In fact, the Holy Scriptures says that before long, Jacob was beyond the stage of attraction. He was “in love with Rachel.”—Genesis29:18.

Romantic ending? No—because the story was far from over. Rachel’s father made Jacob wait seven years before he could marry Rachel. Fair or unfair, Jacob’s love was now put to the test. If it were a case of mere infatuation, Jacob would not have waited for her. Only real love can endure the test of time. So what happened? The Scriptures states: “Jacob proceeded to serve seven years for Rachel (total of 14 years), but in his eyes they proved to be like some few days because of his love for her.”—Genesis29:20.

What can we learn from the example of Jacob and Rachel? That real love can pass the test of time. Also, it’s not based solely on physical appearance. In fact, a potential marriage mate may not be someone you find overwhelmingly attractive at first sight.

When you’re mature enough to date with a view to marriage, how will you know when you've found real love? Your heart may speak, but trust your Scripture-trained mind. Get to know more than the person’s external image. Give the relationship time to blossom. Remember, infatuation often fades within a short time. Genuine love grows stronger with time and becomes “a perfect bond of union.”

Be assured that you can find that kind of love— if you learn to look beyond attraction (what you see) and infatuation (what you feel). The following statements quoted below will help you to do that.

Is it love or is it infatuation?

Try to guess the missing word in the statements quoted below. Fill in the blanks with either the word love or the word infatuation.

1. “________ is blind and it likes to stay that way. It doesn't like to look at reality.”

2. “If I have to change my personality when I’m around a girl I’m attracted to, that’s ________.”

3. “Something may annoy you about the person. But if  it’s __________ , you still want to be with the person  and work through the problem.”

4. “With ________, the only things you let yourself consider are the things you have in common.”

5. “When it’s ________ , you don’t try to hide who you are.”

6. “ ________ is a selfish form of getting what you want—perhaps just to say you have a boyfriend.”

7. “_____ recognizes the faults and quirks and yet can still live with those things.”

8. “When it’s ______ , you can’t define why you feel attracted—you just are.”

9. “With _______ ,the other person can do no wrong.”

10. “When it’s _______ , you don’t notice other members of the opposite sex the way you used to, because you feel a sense of loyalty.”

Kids photos are all taken from Google images