True or False . . .
It’s
always wrong for two people who are dating to touch each other, under any
circumstances. True or False
A
couple who refrain from sexual intercourse can still be guilty of fornication. True
or False
If
a dating couple don’t take sexual liberties, they can’t really be in love. True
or False
NO DOUBT you've thought about this subject a lot.
After all, if you’re dating someone, it can be difficult to know where to draw
the line when expressing affection. Let’s address the three true-or-false
statements above and see how God’s Word helps us to answer the question, “How
far is too far?”
·
It’s always wrong for two people who are dating to
touch each other, under any circumstances.
False.
The Scriptures doesn't condemn legitimate, clean expressions of affection. For example, the Bible tells the story of a Shulammite girl and a shepherd boy who
were in love. Their courtship was chaste. Yet, they evidently exchanged some
displays of affection before they married. (Song of Solomon 1:2; 2:6; 8:5) Today some couples who are seriously
contemplating marriage may likewise feel that some chaste expressions of
affection are appropriate.
Supplementary
information
In some parts of the world, public displays of
affection between unmarried individuals are considered to be in poor taste and
offensive. Christians take care not to behave in a way that could stumble
others. —2 Corinthians 6:3.
However, a dating couple must exercise extreme
caution. Kissing, embracing, or doing anything that causes arousal can lead to
sexual misconduct. It’s all too easy, even for a couple with honorable
intentions, to get carried away and engage in sexual immorality.— Colossians 3:5.
·
A couple who refrain from sexual intercourse can
still be guilty of fornication.
True. The original Greek
word translated “fornication” (por·neia)
has a broad meaning. It describes all forms of sexual relations outside of
marriage and focuses on the misuse of the sexual organs. Thus, fornication
includes not only intercourse but also acts such as masturbating another
person, as well as engaging in oral sex or anal sex.
DID
YOU KNOW...
If you’re engaged, you need to discuss some intimate
matters. But explicit talk that’s intended to arouse sexual desire is a
form of uncleanness—even if it’s carried on over the phone or via text
messaging.
Furthermore, the Bible condemns more than just
fornication. The apostle Paul wrote: “The
works of the flesh are manifest, and they are fornication, uncleanness, loose
conduct.” He added: “Those who practice such things will not
inherit God’s kingdom.”—Galatians
5:19-21.
What is “uncleanness”? The Greek word covers
impurity of any kind, in speech or action. Surely
it would be unclean to allow one’s hands to stray under another person’s
clothing, to remove another’s clothing, or to caress another’s intimate areas,
such as the breasts. In the Scriptures, caressing of the breasts is
associated with the pleasures reserved for married couples.—Proverbs 5:18, 19.
Some youths brazenly defy godly standards. They
deliberately go too far, or they greedily seek out numerous partners with whom
they can practice sexual uncleanness. Such ones may be guilty of what the
apostle Paul called “loose conduct.” The Greek word for “loose conduct” means ‘outrageous acts, excess, insolence,
unbridled lust.’ Surely you want to avoid coming to be “past all moral sense” by giving yourself
over to “loose conduct to work
uncleanness of every sort with greediness.”—Ephesians 4: 17-19.
"Love... does
not behave indecently." —1 Corinthians
13:4,5.
·
If a dating couple don’t take sexual liberties, they
can’t really be in love.
False.
Contrary to what some may think, taking improper sexual liberties doesn't deepen a relationship. Rather, it tears down mutual respect and trust. Consider
Laura’s experience. “One day my boyfriend
came over when my mother wasn't home, supposedly just to watch TV,” she
says. “At first he just held my hand.
Then all of a sudden, his hands started to wander. I was afraid to tell him to
stop; I thought he would get upset and want to leave.”
What do you think? Did Laura’s boyfriend really care for her, or was he just seeking selfish gratification? Is
someone who tries to draw you into unclean behavior really showing that he
loves you?
When a boy pressures a girl into violating her
Christian training and conscience, he breaks God’s law and undermines any claim
that he genuinely loves her.
Furthermore, a girl who willingly gives in allows
herself to be exploited. Worse yet, she has committed an unclean act—perhaps
even fornication. —1 Corinthians 6:9,
10.
TIP
Date in groups, or
insist on having a chaperon. Avoid risky settings, such as being alone in a parked car or in a house or an apartment.
Set
Clear Boundaries
If you’re dating, how can you avoid inappropriate
dis-plays of affection? The wise course is to set clear boundaries in advance. Proverbs 13:10 says: “With those consulting together there is
wisdom.” So discuss with your partner what expressions of affection are appropriate.
Waiting until you’re in some emotion-charged romantic setting before
establishing ground rules is like waiting until your house is on fire before
installing an alarm.
Would you wait
until your house caught fire before you installed an alarm? Then don’t wait
until your passions are aroused before you establish ground rules for conduct
>>
Action Plan <<
I can avoid being
tempted to toy with immorality by
..........................................................................................................................
..........................................................................................................................
If the person I’m dating
tries to pressure me into unclean conduct, I will
..........................................................................................................................
..........................................................................................................................
What I would like
to ask my parent(s) about this subject is
..........................................................................................................................
.......................................................................................................................
Granted, such a sensitive discussion can be
difficult—even embarrassing—especially in the early stages of courtship. But
establishing boundaries can do much to prevent serious problems from developing
later on.
Wise boundaries can be like
smoke detectors that sound an alarm at the first hint of fire. Furthermore,
your ability to communicate in these matters may also serve as an indicator of
how much potential the relationship has. In fact, self-control, patience, and
unselfishness are the foundation of a satisfying sexual relationship in
marriage.—1 Corinthians 7:3, 4.
True, holding to godly standards isn't easy. But you
can trust God’s advice. After all, at Isaiah
48:17, he describes himself as “the
One teaching you to benefit yourself, the One causing you to tread in the way
in which you should walk."
Photos are all
taken from shutterstock and Google images
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