Wednesday, April 15, 2015

Love versus Infatuation

Love   to scarry - eyed romantics it is a mysterious visitation that seizes you, a once - in-a-lifetime feeling of sheer ecstasy. Love, they believe, is a strictly an affair of the heart, something that cannot be understood, just experience. Love conquers all and lasts forever ...

So go the romantic clichés. And no doubt about it, falling in love can be a uniquely beautiful experience. But just what is real love?

Love at First Sight?

Movies, books, and television shows would have you believe that love at first sight lasts forever. Granted, physical attractiveness is usually what makes two people notice each other in the first place. As one young man put in: "It is hard to 'see' a person's personality."

-         But what is that one "loves" when a relationship is but a few hours or days old?
-         Is it not the image that person projects?

Really, you don' t know how much about that person's thoughts, hopes, fears, plans, habits, skills, or abilities. You've met only the outer shell, not "the secret person of the heart."

How enduring could such love be?

Looks Are Deceiving

Furthermore, outward appearances can be deceiving. The glittering wrappings of a gift tell you nothing of what's inside. In fact, the most elegant wrappings may cover a useless gift.

What a mistake it is, then, to fall 'in love' with the way someone looks and ignore what person is inside.

"The Most Deceitful Things There Is"

Some, however, feel that the human heart has infallible romantic judgment. ' Just listen to your heart,' they argue. 'You will know when it's real love!' Unfortunately, the facts contradict this notion. A survey was taken in which 1,079 young people (ages 18 to 24) reported having experienced an average of seven romantic involvements up to that time. Most admitted that their past romances were mere infatuation a passing, fading emotion. Yet, these youths "invariably described their current experiences as love"! Most, though, will likely one day view their current involvements as they did their past ones- as mere infatuations.

The tragedy is that thousands of couples every year marry under the illusion of being ' in love,' only to find shortly thereafter that they have seriously erred. Infatuation "lures unsuspecting men and women into poor marriages like lambs to the slaughter," says Ray Short in his book Sex, Love, or Infatuation.

The Scriptures says:

"He that is trusting in his own heart is stupid" (Proverbs 28:26) Far too often, the judgment of our heart is misguided or misdirected. In fact, the bible says: The heart is the most deceitful thing there is." ( Jeremiah17:9, The Living Bible) Yet, the aforementioned proverb continues:  But he that is walking in wisdom is the one that will escape". You too can escape the dangers and frustrations other youths have suffered if you learn the difference between infatuation and love described in the Scriptures the love that never fails.

Love Versus Infatuation

"Infatuation is blind and it likes to stay that way. It doesn't' t like to look at reality."   As a young girl says:  "When you' re infatuated with a person, you think that everything they do is just perfect.

Infatuation is a counterfeit love. It is unrealistic and self- centered.

Infatuated persons have a tendency to say:

·        I really feel important when I'm with him/her.
·        I can't sleep.
·        I can't believe how fantastic this is' or, 'She really makes me feel good.'
- Notice how many times either ,"I" or "me" is used?

A relationship based on selfishness is bound to fail!  (Compare -1Corinthians 13:4,5)

Since it "does not look for its own interests," love based on Scriptures principles is neither self- centered nor selfish. True, a couple may have strong romantic feelings and mutual attraction. But these feelings are balanced by reason and deep respect for the other person.


When you are really in love, you care just as much for the other person' s welfare and happiness as you do for your own. You do not let overpowering emotion destroy good judgment.

An Example of Real Love

One of my greatest favorite love story, the bible account of Jacob and Rachel vividly illustrates real love. Jacob found that there was more to Rachel than her beauty. Undoubtedly he saw Rachel at both her "best" and her "worst." His love for her was therefore not unbridled emotion but an unselfish love based on reason and deep respect. If you continue reading the story, Jacob serve seven years for Rachel to be his wife, however something happen, her eldest sister Lea was given instead of Rachel. So he proceeded to serve another seven years for Rachel but in his eyes they proved to be like some few days because of his love for her.

Only genuine love, an unselfish interest in the other, would have made those years seem "like some few days."

It Takes Time!

True love is therefore not hurt by time. Indeed, often the best way to test out your feelings for someone is to let some time pass. 

"A person just doesn't hand out to you his personality by simply saying: 'This is what I am. Now you know all about me.' " No, it also takes time to get to know someone you are interested in.

Time also allows you to examine your romantic interest.

Remember, love "does not behave indecently, does not look for its own interests."

Questions to fonder:

·        Is your companion eager for the success of your plans — or only for his or her own?
·        Does he or she show respect for your viewpoint, your feelings?
·        Has he or she pressured you to do things that are really 'indecent' in order to satisfy selfish passions?
·        Does this person tend to put you down or build you up in front of others? 
-         Asking questions to like these can help you appraise your feelings more objectively.

“ Rushing romance invites disaster.”

But how different things might have been if both individuals had become better acquainted with each other before marriage!  Their expectations would have been more realistic.

Real love doesn't not happen overnight. But as you got to know the person better, things changed. Observing a girl with a deep concern for other people and how she always put the interests of others before herself. These were the qualities I knew would make a good wife.

When you’re mature enough to date with a view to marriage, how will you know when you've found real love? Get to know more than the person’s external image.  Give the relationship time to blossom. Remember, infatuation reaches a fever pitch in a short time but then fades. Genuine love grows stronger with time.

Photos taken from Google images

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